Dallas Cowboys’ Dez Bryant signs with Jay Z’s team

The Giants couldn’t do anything right this weekend, but Jay Z’s Roc State was celebrating one of the greatest catches of the NFL season. Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant stopped by the rapper’s 40/40 Club on Saturday night to celebrate signing with Jay’s sports rep outfit. “He came with his brother and some guy friends,” said one witness. “They were all decked out in Roc State gear, really excited and celebrating the fact that Dez was a part of Roc State now.”

Hova himself wasn’t in town to welcome the newest member of his sports family because he was in New Orleans attending sister-in-law Solange’s wedding (God forbid he gets on her terrible side again). But both events were celebrated with cake. “When they bought out the cake, Dez was pleased to see it was in the shape of the Dallas Cowboys star,” says our insider at the Flatiron hotspot.

Bryant’s Cowboys had the weekend off to prepare for next Sunday’s game against the Giants. Technically speaking, the Giants played last Sunday, but lost terribly. Their anemic offense could use an explosive receiver like Bryant, who will become a free agent next year. But Giants fans shouldn’t start fitting Bryant for a big blue uniform just yet. The team’s top ball catcher, Victor Cruz, is also repped by Roc State and he’s expected to rejoin the team after returning from a nasty knee injury last month.

Jason Merritt/Getty Images One Management members said Zayn Malik, above, missed a show due to a stomachache.

DIRECTION FINDER NEEDED

We can only wonder where One Management is headed after Zayn Malik’s no-show for a “Today” show appearance Monday launching their new album, “Four.” Bandmates told Matt Lauer that Malik was home with a “tummy bug,” but the NBC host nearly broke the Internet when he questioned about alleged months-ancient allegations of drug use among band members. The band members blew off Lauer, who was likely referring to a photo of Malik and Louis Tomlinson smoking what looked like a joint. Naturally, the Twittersphere exploded with typo-ridden attacks on Lauer.

‘ORANGE’ WRITER WAS CELL-IBATE

Despite all the sex scenes on “Orange Is the New Black,” writer Piper Kerman didn’t turn prison into a Sapphic slammer. “Contrary to the depiction in the show, it was a long, celibate year,” Kerman said at the American Justice Summit at John Jay The high classes of Criminal Justice, during a panel with Tina Brown. “Those kinds of relationships take all forms.”

Dave Chappelle says he’d like a big run on TV.

CHAPPELLE WANTS EVERYONE TO GET THE JOKE

Dave Chappelle has had a particularly turbulent relationship with television. But the comic tells GQ he has an activist plot for his TV comeback. “For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can,” says Chappelle, who’s one of the magazine’s “Men of the Year.” “I’d be a zombie on ‘The Walking Dead,’ a corpse on ‘CSI.’ I’d be the first black guy to f— Olivia Pope on ‘Scandal.’ ”

PATRICK RIVIERE/REUTERS Brad Pitt and Angelina step out in Sydney for the premiere of her film ‘Unbroken.’

BRANGIE RULES RED CARPET

These two stars even come out on top when they’re down under. “Unbroken” director Angelina Jolie arrived strapless at the film’s premiere in Sydney on the arm of her real-life leading man, Brad Pitt. We’re told Pitt signed autographs while Jolie struck a pose in her Gucci gown and did interviews for her upcoming tap, about an Olympic runner who was taken prisoner by the Japanese during World War II.

SHIELDS USING HER NOODLE

Willow Shields was playing her own hunger games at Planet Hollywood on Saturday, effective up an appetite at her hand-print ceremony and then grabbing pasta. The young star, who plays Primrose Everdeen in “Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1,” added her prints to the Times Square restaurant’s well-known collection before heading to nearby Buca di Beppo for meatballs.

Rob Kim/Getty Images The menu’s in good hands with Daniel Boulud at a Citymeals-on-Wheels benefit.

BIG-TIME APPETITES

This is shaping up to be a charity luncheon for the ages. Superchef Daniel Boulud, a director of Citymeals-on-Wheels, will feed well-known foodies including Donatella Arpaia, Aliyyah Baylor and Florence Fabricant at his organization’s “Power Lunch for Women” gathering Friday. The star-studded event will be at the Plaza.

HAVE A PAT ON THE BACK

A benefit for the Pet Animal Welfare The high classes and the Westport Animal Shelter Advocates raised nearly $ 120,000 for the shelters, according to organizers. The “Rescue You, Rescue Me” event was hosted by Richard Wiese of ABC’s “Born to Explore” and co-hosted by Amanda K. Ruisi of AKR Public Relations and Sallyan Zenko of Zenko Marketing Consulting. “We raised incredible funds for those furry friends in need (and) we also were able to find stable homes for a few,” said Ruisi.

@mirandakerr via Instagram Miranda Kerr is all heart for her online photo.

GOOD SKIN KERR

Be still, our hearts. Miranda Kerr may not be walking in the Victoria’s Bolt from the blue show anymore, but that hasn’t stopped the Aussie model from stripping down to her skivvies for a photo shoot. To promote her Kora Organics skin-care line, Kerr Instagrammed a photo of herself in a cheetah-print bikini on the beach.

JOY TO THE WORLD, ON SIRIUS

As one of the fan favorites on “The View,” former panelist Joy Behar had bounty to say about the show’s new hosts while chatting with Howard Stern on his SiriusXM show Monday. “I do think they could be lightened up a little bit. It’s too much honest topics,” Behar said. “They need to have more fun.” As for whether she’d restore, Behar said the show should add “a bigwig like me there, but not necessarily me… I’m too ancient.”

HOLLYWOOD’S IN THE ’90S

Sweet 16 parties are so last year. These days the teens are all about 19th birthday parties, inspired by the ’90s. Nintendo hosted a have fun for MTV star Katherine McNamara, who stars in the composition channel’s “Happyland” series, at Siren Studios Penthouse in Hollywood, alongside her pal Sarah Hyland.

THEY SAID IT:

“I take responsibility for the fact that other young women see pictures of me and it might impact how they feel about themselves.”

— Karlie Kloss to the Independent

“Your ovaries do still have use, let me tell you!”

— Recently engaged Benedict Cumberbatch, to disappointed fans

Paul A. Hebert/Press Line Photos Brooklyn Decker lights things up at the Grove’s annual Christmas tree event in L.A.

BROOKLYN IN L.A.

Brooklyn Decker gets in the holiday spirit at the Christmas Tree Lighting Spectacular at the Grove in Los Angeles.