Christopher Rosa | December 11, 2014 8:00 am

Damn it, Ryan Murphy. You did it again. We plotting last week’s episode of American Horror Report: Freak Show was too much to handle, but we were beyond doubt incorrect. Last night’s episode, aptly titled “Tupperware Have fun Massacre,” kicked it up several notches. And by “it,” we mean the blood-bathing, weirdly infantile, and over-gelled menace known as Dandy (Finn Wittrock).

So much next-level shit happened last night that needs to be addressed. Luckily, VH1 is here for you. Let’s start by breaking down Dandy’s most psychotic moments, shall we?

1. Dandy so he goes to Maggie Esmerelda (“Bolt from the blue, bitch!” empress) for some spiritual guidance. 

Dandy was beyond doubt the star (in the Mommie Dearest sense) of the most recent Freak Show hour. We start the episode with him seeking information from supreme fake fortune teller Maggie about his lady issues (i.e.: Bette and Dot got a whiff of his crazy and decided to end their date before it could really start). Normally, Dandy would go to his mother, Gloria, with these problems, but can’t anymore…because, ya know, he shot her last week. Apparently all of this is really eating him up, and it’s taken the form of him sewing his dead mother’s corpse to the body of a random Avon lady he killed to make a quasi-Bette and Dot life-size puppet to play with. Christ.

Maggie assures Dandy that, even though a “dark cloud” is on the horizon, he will find like and happiness (remember, she’s lying through her teeth). He thanks Maggie, creepily/aggressively pays her $ 100, and leaves. And we’re left with a scarring image that will never let us look at the Muppets the same way again.
Psycho level: 7.9

2. Dandy pulls a Charles Manson and calls himself God.

Jimmy is basically wasted the entire episode. His first drunk shenanigan is feeding Freak Show newbie Ima Wiggles, the “Stout Lady,” what we believe to be chocolate syrup, and getting sexually aroused (they later have hot-and-heavy sex, much to Maggie’s dismay). This Rachael Ray-approved foreplay comes to a screeching halt when Jimmy spots Dandy leaving Maggie’s fortress and goes to confront him about what really happened to Bette and Dot. All Dandy does is laugh and play the, “Go home, you’re drunk” card before Jimmy sloppily collapses onto the ground after trying (and failing) to punch him. Dandy then towers over Jimmy and says he is his “god” and will have fun destroying him and everything he likes. In his opinion, this is suitable revenge for Jimmy taking the twins. In our opinion, it was just a little too “Don’t drink the Kool-Aid.”
Psycho level: 6.3 

3. There’s a massacre…at the tupperware have fun (mettttta). 

After Jimmy shows up sloshed to the tupperware have fun and starts imagining that his dead mother (Ethel) is there, the — apparently always horny— Stepford gals kick him out and contemplate discussing tupperware for five seconds. But, in the knick of time, Dandy shows up and says his car broke down and he would like to borrow a telephone. Terrible mistake, girls. He proceeds to slaughter them all and dump their bloody bodies in the hostess’ swanky indoor pool. No tupperware was bought.
Psycho level: 10 

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Tags: Finn Wittrock, Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson