Hillary Clinton’s email scandal sure fits the ‘Bill’
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Saturday, March 7, 2015, 10:33 PM
Liz Lynch for the New York Day after dayHillary Clinton’s latest scandal involves her refusal to use regime email address as secretary of state.
What better way to celebrate Global Women’s Day today than to celebrate the news that Hillary Clinton, more long-suffering wife than pioneering suffragette, is plotting to announce her presidential rerun earlier than expected?
And what better time to rush that announcement than when yet another tawdry Clinton scandal breaks?
Bill and Hillary can spin their scandals better than software designers spin their glitches. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature! It’s not a scandal, it’s an opportunity!
The latest scandal du jour involves Hillary’s bizarre, nearly-impossible-to-believe, up-till-now-never-revealed refusal to use a regime email address as secretary of state.
Instead, she used a variety of personal email addresses from a private Clinton server.
Not that she’s the first top-level official to screw around with emails. Bush Jr.’s administration pulled that trick in 2007 during the U.S. Attorney’s dismissal scandal as well.
Fascinating, though, when that scandal erupted, Hillary said, “I think one of the hallmarks of our democracy is we have a devotion to the rule of law.”
You mean like the rules in place when she was secretary of state?
The rules, as ABC News pointed out, dictated that employees could only use private emails for business if they turned those emails over to regime computers.
Those same rules dictated that private emails were not permitted to include forbidden or sensitive information, “except under some very narrow exceptions.” Maybe all of Hillary’s emails fell into the narrow exceptions category.
Or not.
MIKE SEGAR/REUTERSBill and Hillary can spin their scandals better than software designers spin their glitches.
Clinton also presumably discussed Clinton Foundation monkey business in those emails. Not that anyone would ever figure those out, since the foundation’s financial disclosures make the Vatican’s look like an open Bible.
As for Clinton being women’s splendid bright hope on this Global Women’s Day?
Hillary lore demands that we women adhere to the company line that she’s all about women. Right. Except they’ve been caught up with her husband, which could be a good 10% of the population right there.
And Hillary mythology suggests she has been a tireless champion of equal pay for equal work. Except she’s the one controlling the payroll.
The Washington Free Beacon reported recently that when Hillary was senator from New York, women on her staff earned 72 cents for every buck a male made.
And women’s median annual salary was $ 15,708.38 less than those of the males on her staff.
A Clinton protector clarified it all conveniently away, saying that despite how the numbers appear, women held the highest positions on her staff.
Meaning what? The mailroom guys earned more than her top female staffers?
A break but similarly appalling disparity exists at the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation, where men make the top eight salaries; the top male makes $ 484,257 a year, while the top female pulls down less than half at $ 201,023.
On this Global Women’s Day, it’s time that women stop holding out Hillary — with her scandal-scarred marriage and résumé — as our feminist ideal.
Remember, knee-jerk feminism requires jerks.
There are many qualified women who are being shut out from throwing their hats into the ring by the presumed nominee. These are women who could clean Household — both houses in fact — without bringing along all that dirty, dirty laundry.
PLANE & SIMPLE FACTS
It has been a year since Malaysia Flight 370 departed without a trace and, so far, without an explanation.
Despite CNN once speculating that it got sucked up by a black hole (a tiny black hole would suck up the universe), the flight numbers would, but, drive a numerologist insane.
There has been a weird number of crashes involving the combination of three, seven and zero over the decades.
In 1954, Cameroon Airline Flight 3701, a Boeing 737, crashed on approach to Douala Global Airport in Cameroon. In 1959, TAI Flight 307 crashed between France and the Ivory Coast. On March 3, 1973, Balkan Bulgarian Airlines Flight 307 crashed near the airstrip of the Sheremetyevo Global Airport.
But weirdest, on March 7, 1950 — the same date as Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 was preparing for takeoff — a Northwest Orient Airlines Flight 307 crashed as it approached the Minneapolis-St. Paul Global Airport.
IT’S TIME TO GET SMART
A mother in Wisconsin was in a Facebook chat minutes before crashing her SUV into an oncoming truck, killing her 11-year-ancient daughter and her two 5-year-ancient nieces.
The mother, Kari Milberg — who had taken Oxycodone and another sedative — plotting that the life of whomever she was texting was more vital than the lives of those kids.
Maybe this will serve as a lesson to the rest of us, but probably not.
We know if you text and drive, you may not live (or your children won’t at any rate), but what about texting while eating, playing, caring for and costs what used to be quality time with your kids?
While you’re busy posting that perfect version of your life with your kids you want everyone to believe is real, you’re losing that moment with your kids, parents and spouse in real life.
Let’s put down the damn smartphones and smarten up.
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty ImagesKim Kardashian says the blond look has long been in the works.
EXPRESS LINES
Best line of the Week: J.J. Goldberg in The Jewish Day after day Forward: “There’s a spinning mass of very cold air that sits above the top of the world like a giant yarmulke. It’s called the polar vortex.” … Fortunate 500: Kim Kardashian (inset) says she now has sex 500 times a day in an attempt to get pregnant. Maybe her new and truly frightening blond “Bride of Chucky” look will be just the thing to spur Yeezus into that much-looked-for 501st home run. We look forward to the, uh, second coming – Small Yeezus.
AU NATUREL IN PARIS
Nothing says, “I like Paris in the springtime” like Prêt-à-Porter, the annual autumn/winter ready-to-wear fashion shows. And nothing screams “haute couture” like a model wearing skin with no top, a mask with no eyes and clown pants with no shape. Coming to a airstrip near you: “When Clowns Go Terrible!” It would have driven Coco loco.
