Emily Exton | November 18, 2014 12:15 pm

By now we all know that Lifetime’s Aaliyah movie was an atrocity. The network has a long history of going for camp — choosing right Hollywood tales that are well-known for their salacious details. Sometimes they hit (see: Joan Allen‘s Emmy nomination for 2009&fill in;s Georgia O’Keeffe), but most of the time it’s a big mess. And the casting is almost always terrible.

Because we like pop culture, we took it upon ourselves to marvel up some Lifetime movie subjects of our own, perfect with questionable casting choices. Lindsay Lohan‘s charmed fall from grace (full of drug and shoplifting accusations, and even a dip in the lady pond) is the perfect vehicle for fellow Disney redhead Bella Thorne. Obviously Beyoncé will want to play herself in any and all future representations of her life (as well as write, direct, and produce), and who better to step into the role of Charlie Sheen than the similarly controversial Shia LaBeouf? After all the uproar around the Aaliyah movie, we’re patiently waiting for the day the network dives into the Carter-Knowles elevator debacle. Because it’s too good not to.

Check out some of the juiciest Hollywood tales deserving of the Lifetime treatment.

LOHAN: Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

At one time Lohan was the charming, freckle-faced star of bankable Disney films. Now she’s (largely) a punchline, and a liability at work. Give us the whole report perfect with mellow dramatic composition and mascara tears!

Fate’s Child: The Journey of One Superstar Mogul (and Her Backup Singers)

From lineup changes to high-class shade, the report of this girl group is a lot more than terrible outfits and outdated tech references. But mostly it’s about Beyoncé.

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Tags: Jay-Z, Lindsay Lohan, Solange, Justin Bieber