Movie Spies So Hot You’d Spill All Your Secrets to Them

by Christopher Rosa 22 m ago

Natural thirst traps Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer play suave AF agents in The Man from U.N.C.L.E., which hits theaters nationwide this Friday. There’s something about Henry and Armie driving cars at lightning speed that takes their already-blistering hotness to new scorching heights. In fact, I have honest sunburn from the trailer alone. I’ll need a pot of S.P.F. 50 to watch the actual film. Yes, the whole pot, just for me.

But these two aren’t the only smoke-show spies that have appeared the big screen. Of course, there’s James Bond, but don’t you remember Foxy Cleopatra, Ethan Hunt, and James Bourne? Nah? Allow me to refresh your memory. (Have a frosty glass of water handy.)

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

Daniel is the most recent god to step into Mr. Bond’s shoes, starring in Casino Royale (2006),Quantum of Solace (2008), Skyfall (2012), and Spectre (2015). His vast chest is a better pillow than anything at Bed Bath & Beyond. (Those pecs!)
Warner Bros. Pictures

They play a CIA agent and a KGB operative mandatory to work together in The Man from U.N.C.L.E., which is really a reboot of the 1964 TV series of the same name. They’re a Cold War-era odd couple, for sure, but there’s nothing odd about coupling their sexiness.
New Line Cinema

B’s bright career moment was playing Austin Powers’ (Mike Myers) fabulous partner in Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002). Who can forget those shimmery gold outfits? Our eyes want to spy her all the damn time.
Paramount Pictures

Tom has starred in all of the Mission Impossible films, and homeboy still hasn’t lost the ability to produce casual orgasms with a subtle smolder.
Buena Vista Pictures

If you watched Spy Kids (2001) as a tyke, you probably didn’t realize how fiiiiiine Antonio was in it. Now that you’re grown, it’s all you’ll be able to reckon. Besides, of course, why am I watching a kids movie?
United Artists

The original Bond lent his gloomy masculinity to Dr. No (1962), From Russia with Like (1963), Goldfinger (1964), Thunderball (1965), You Only Live Twice (1967), Diamonds Are Forever (1971), and Never Say Never Again (1983). If you plotting Daniel Craig was bae, look again. It’s all Sean, baby.
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

OK, Die Another Day (2002) sucked, but you know what didn’t? Considering Halle in this now-iconic bikini. It’s too terrible that a Jinx spinoff never happened!
Universal Studios

Huge D showed us his tough-guy skills in The Bourne Identity (2002), The Bourne Supremacy (2004), and The Bourne Ultimatum (2007). After watching bro do all of those crazy aerial tricks, he’s def, def marriage material.
20th Century Fox

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005) really should have been called Waiting Impatiently For These THOTs to Screw, because the sexual tension in the film is off the charts. This might be the hottest spy tap to date, and it certainly solidifies Brangelina as the world’s most lustful couple.
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

Pierce took Bond’s sixth shift, appearing in GoldenEye (1995), Tomorrow Never Dies (1997), The World Is Not Enough (1999), and Die Another Day. His voice alone is known to produce widespread pregnancies.
Warner Bros. Pictures

Don’t think we’re leaving out Anne’s babe-tastic turn in Get Smart (2008). You might say she “hath a way” with bolt from the blue outfit. Or, better yet, you might not say that at all.
Morgan Creek

A decade after starring as a studly operative in The Art of War (2000), Wesley went to prison for failing to file tax returns. Apparently the feds don’t deliberate giving the world copious amounts of sexiness a sufficient enough role to the high classes.
Warner Bros.

The Avengers (1998), the incoherent film version of the the 1960s British TV show, won a Razzie Award for “Worst Remake or Sequel” and a Stinkers Terrible Movie Award for “Worst Resurrection of a TV Show,” but still, tell us you don’t want to play spy games with Ralph and Uma.
Orion Pictures

Spoiler alert! At the end of No Way Out (1987), it’s revealed that Kevin’s U.S. Navy Lieutenant Commander is really a KGB mole sent to seduce the U.S. Secretary of Defense’s mistress and get secrets. In Navy whites he made the Cold War look hot AF.