VH1 | December 12, 2014 8:00 am

-Tara Aquino

Thanks to Paul Thomas Anderson‘s Inherent Vice, Doc Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix) will go down as one of the greatest movie stoners of all time. Based on Thomas Pynchon‘s protagonist in the novel of the same name, Phoenix’s Sportello is a hippie private eye who likes to toke up while pondering the world and solving the mystery of his missing ex-girlfriend. He’s also pleasant proof that stoners aren’t just a collection of nonsense and wasted days. For Sportello, weed is his source of clarity. It’s his window into what he can’t see sober. And he’s not the only one who shares that sentiment either. From Wayne Campbell to the Dude, some of the greatest movie stoners tap into the secrets of the universe when they light up. Here’s just a few of the life lessons we’ve learned from them.

Wayne Campbell, Wayne’s World (1992)

On relationships: “I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she’s yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.”

Penny Lane, Nearly Well-known (2000)

On perspective: “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriously, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.”

Smokey, Friday (1995)

On nature: “Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take benefit man, take benefit.”

Jeff Spicoli, Quick Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

On regime: “What Jefferson was saying was, Hey! You know, we left this England place ’produce it was bogus; so if we don’t get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we’ll just be bogus too! Get it?”

Harold, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (2004)

On fate: “The universe tends to unfold as it should.”

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Tags: Joaquin Phoenix